A New Journey: On The Road To Personal Growth
Two years ago life as I knew it ended abruptly. My then husband told me out of nowhere he did not love me anymore and he wanted out. That conversation shattered my world, in a way parted my life in two. That single moment launched me into an unexpected journey full of self exploration and self discovery. It woke me up and helped me realize that personal growth is not a destination, is a journey.
|Me and my family at a baseball game.|
The first step of my journey, perhaps the hardest one, was making the decision to file for divorce. This decision was the equivalent of admitting defeat and I don’t like to lose. It was the ultimate acknowledgement that my marriage was over. The end result of this decision was not visible to me immediately because divorce proceedings take time. What I ultimately learned was that being patient and doing the right thing made going through divorce easier.
The first thing I learned was to be ok with failure and be aware of my role in it. There is something liberating on recognizing your own shortcomings and flaws. There is no room for improvement if you think everything you do is right. Learning about yourself is key to your growth. If you’re not constantly learning who you are, you will never be able to understand what needs you have.
Understanding yourself sets the foundation for forgiveness, and this is one of the cornerstones of your healing process. It doesn't happen overnight, it’s a slow process but it will help you let go of anger and resentments. Resentment is one more way to keep yourself tied to a relationship that is over. Letting go will give you the freedom you need in order to move on with your life and to heal.
This divorce journey is full of ups and downs. Sometimes you will feel on top of the world and sometimes you will feel in the basement. Neither of those points is an indicator as of what your life is going to be. Focus on the little things and the little victories of everyday. Personal growth is never a straight line, there are plenty of difficulties and great moments and both will build you as a person.
Another lesson I learned, your situation is always temporary and the pain doesn’t last forever. There is a new opportunity every single day, a chance to be better, to improve, to try and to survive! It’s a matter of choice. It requires will power and sometimes you just don’t feel you have it, but guess what? That day has an end and the next one will come with a brand new opportunity.
The most valuable lesson I learned has to be that I can’t do it alone. I have the willpower but we all need a support system. Call it friends, family or community, isolation is your enemy. Not knowing how to ask for help will take you down. I did not learn this on my own, someone had pointed out to me, “you need to ask for help”. I still remember going to myself, “but I can do it on my own”, and little by little I realized that having the support of people was the best way to navigate this journey.
Am I the same person I was two years ago? Absolutely not. Am I afraid of what is to come? Absolutely yes! I’m rebuilding my life, standing on my own, being responsible for every single choice and I am doing it all to leave a legacy for my daughters. The key to all of this has been looking at myself and recognizing my flaws and working on improving. I have no doubt that the woman I am today can take on the challenge and shine with bright colors. A new journey has just begun!
Thru my divorce I discovered I am a teacher, a writer and a loving mother. I want my story to inspire you and fill you up with hope so you too can get to the other side of the tunnel.