How To Move On After Divorce.

Why moving on is so difficult? From the outside divorce seems to give life a new chance. Everyone gives you different advice, go on the rebound, change yourself, this is your moment. Some of these suggestions are actually good. The truth is that you are in a limbo between your old life and the one coming, obviously, you have no idea how is going to turn out. Also, add the fact that in some cases the pain is unbearable. In my case, infidelity was a sucker punch and it floored me completely.

So, how do you go on? Like an addiction, you do it one day at a time. You need to be honest with the most important person in your life, yourself. The worst thing you can do is avoid acknowledging your emotions. You'll feel defeated, weak, angry, and sad. You are in the process of grieving because life as you knew it just came to an end.

If you ever want to move on you will have to clean house, get rid of all the trash you have inside. You'll have to learn how to deal with the backslash of your failed relationship. Your responsibilities, your role in the whole ordeal, and the most dreaded one, forgiveness. Forgiving does not mean you will go back, it simply means that you won't allow the offense hurt you any longer, it means that you will give up the desire for revenge.

Forgiveness will give you the freedom to choose whatever life you want from now on. It will cut the bond between you and your ex. Believe it or not if you invest a big part of your day hating on your ex partner you are wasting significant energy that you could be using rebuilding your life.

Moving on is not a smooth ride, there are upside downs at every corner. Don't let that discourage you. And please, do not pretend everything is okay that only hurts you! You need to be as real as you can be. Cry if you need to. Scream if you must, but never ever fake smiles, if you must, do it for your kids. Anyone else really does not count and faking happiness will only hurt you. In the end is okay not to be okay.

Many of us feel embarrassed by the fact we're getting a divorce. I felt absolutely defeated because my ex husband left me for another woman. It made me feel like I did everything wrong, like I did not have enough to keep my husband interested in me anymore. It took me some time to realize that it had nothing to do with me as a woman. And took me longer to decide that I was going to let go of the anger I carried inside of me.

You must start working on yourself, focus on your recovery. Don't be afraid of exploring new hobbies, new activities, new places, have fun! You now have the opportunity to rearrange your life. If you ask me, I would say do not date anyone until you feel that you found your footing. Otherwise, your self esteem and your recovery process will be affected.

In the end, the one thing you need to move on is the desire to do so. No excuses, no regrets, use everything you have experienced as the trampoline that will catapult you to discover your new self and build a new life. Be brave!

Thru my divorce I discovered I am a teacher, a writer and a loving mother.  I want my story to inspire you and fill you up with hope so you too can get to the other side of the tunnel.


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