Embracing Chaos

Don't avoid the mess!  If you are a control freak, like me, messy situations are the plague for you. I did anything to avoid them. I even compromise myself just to not to have to deal with them, but guess what? In the long run they will come up at anytime. What you avoid today will come back tomorrow to get you with a vengeance.

This I came to learn from the past two years; what I don't deal with today will surface later on. I had to figure so many things out during the aftermath of my separation. I discovered so many issues that I did not see before, things that I was too afraid of, things that I did not have the tools to face. And all of the sudden, I had to deal with all of them at the same time, at the worst possible moment, and there was no escaping them anymore.

We have this tendency to procrastinate, mainly around issues we know are critical. We even try to place the blame on someone else, make excuses, and never assume responsibility. My reason for it, I was afraid. I was afraid of having to face the truth, I was afraid of getting out of my comfort zone, I was afraid of having to put on the work towards overcoming difficulties.

What did I do different this time around? I had no other option. I had to face my fears and assume the responsibility. My reality was not pretty, my marriage was done, not only destroyed by an affair, but for the causes that lead to the affair. Don't get me wrong, I am not justifying his actions. I believe that there are two people in a marriage, and both of them will contribute to the success or failure of it.

The issues might be different for each one of you, but at the core, the reason behind it is the same: Fear. We fear what we can find at the other side of the mess! We are afraid of suffering. We make up an alternative reality with alternative facts that help us sleep easier at night. We live neglecting reality, in a perpetual state of denial, but we cannot expect to live in that alternative reality until the end of our days.

Is never easy to face our fears, you'll be confronted with your true self. You'll be taking care of your responsibilities. You will need to take action, and to take action you'll need to get out of your comfort zone. In the end you will be a new person, stronger and more resilient.

Embracing chaos will always scare you, but will also make you a better human being. It will test your limitations and your patience, but surely will push to overcome obstacles that eventually will take you to a whole new level. You can expect to come to the other side of your problems feeling accomplished. Stronger than you've ever imagined, and then...

There will be no stopping you!

Thru my divorce I discovered I am a teacher, a writer and a loving mother.  I want my story to inspire you and fill you up with hope so you too can get to the other side of the tunnel.

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